Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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