Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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