sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
