The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
this hospital has no fireball
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
