so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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