just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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