You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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