My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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