You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
