Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
