Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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