Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize