i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
