At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
