Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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