I bet he comes in French.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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