Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
