eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
