How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
