I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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