Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize