So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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