OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
