dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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