Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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