If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize