i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
