Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
