she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
