She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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