my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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