Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
