he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
