Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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