I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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