Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
