My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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