I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize