Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
