just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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