White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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