So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
