Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The uberlube is also flammable
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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