We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
