Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
