went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
