So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We left an ass print on the piano.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
