I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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