I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
