I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
