Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
