Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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