six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
