I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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