Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
