Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
