Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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