The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just pee around me
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Couch. On fire.