Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Never joke about your clitoris.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
